Fifteen minutes into the machines lecture, boredom finally started taking its toll on Kunal. The temptation to use the escape hatch was quite strong. The only problem was he was not sure whether anyone was as purely bored as he was. Maybe a few were, but then they were equally frightened of Prof. Shubha Pandit. For the escape hatch to get activated it was important for two people to get completely bored and only bored. If you were even slightly hesitant, reluctant or frightened the inverse escape effect would automatically be triggered. The hatch would open, but the exit path would redirect you to the first bench, centre row. In fact, you were to be so zonked that you should have no idea, as to where you wanted to get out, with who you wished to remain there. The tricky part was you needed one more person to be in the exact state of mind as you were, you could not indicate it to anyone. The dangerous part was when you felt that the state of things was appropriate; you had to say, “HATCH DESPATCH”. You did not have to scream it out; nevertheless it had to be in your normal audible tone. The good part was once it worked, no one would have any memory of you being there in the first place. Wherever you reached too, no one would be surprised with your sudden appearance.
Although its need was much acknowledged and concept much appreciated, no one really bought the idea of its existence. Of course, it did make a very good topic for canteen discussions and also inspired some remarkable works in the field of back book poetry (Asphyxiation – Nikhila Nadkarni) and desktop graffiti (population paradox – Rahul ‘Chaukya’ Kulkarni). Also no one had ever claimed successfully operating the hatch – or for that matter triggering the ‘inverse’ by unsuccessfully operating it. Sometime in the summer of 2006, however Divyanshu created a mild ripple by stating that the erstwhile chemistry professor Mr Alok Mishra had confirmed its existence and utility to Heston and himself during the preparatory leave. Many wanted to cross-check Divyanshu’s claim, but unfortunately & mysteriously that very semester, Mr Mishra for personal reasons, left the college. Heston on his part always laughed off the topic, but then again, he never categorically denied what Divyanshu claimed. Coincidently, things have been pretty frosty between the two ever since (some attribute it to Heston’s dedication to Jazz and Divyanshu’s - much in your face fixation with classic rock).
But right now, Kunal wasn’t thinking about any of this. All he wanted was to get out. Anywhere but here and so overcome with despair and boredom without his knowledge he blurted – “HATCH DESPATCH”.
No sooner did he say it, that his heart leapt to his mouth, and somewhere between the two events the ground beneath his feet slipped – literally. He was blinded by a sudden white light – what had happened? Did people hear him? And who was the person who had escaped with him - he was flooded with an avalanche of thoughts. And after a moment which transcended eternity, he found himself back on his feet, back to his senses – much to his surprise, dread and amusement – in front of SP ma’am. At first he thought that the ‘inverse escape effect’ had been triggered, but the familiar and hostile setting of S.P. madam’s cabin reassured him that the hatch had indeed worked.
There he stood fumbling and mumbling, not knowing what to say, if something had to be said that is. But his confusion was cut short by the professor herself. With the darting look from over her specs, which was so typical of her she said – “Essentially, Mr Dekhane, you are not the only one who finds machines taxing” – “Yes ma’am, I mean, no ma’am” was the best he could do. He gathered himself, curtly bowed his head and left the cabin.
And although the smile could not quite make to any of the two faces, there was no questioning the relief in either.
